So wow. this being my last semester, with a handful of weeks remaining at college lots of things are very scary and strange.

Yet the things that happened to me this semester... I don't think i'll ever be the same. I self destructed, three nightmarish events collided onto a single day. not to mention an inescapable fear and endless row of terrible nightmares that affected me. I thought all of who I was, was at fault, was errored from the foundations. Then I began to read the bible more, seek God more, and strangely I found myself being put back together, exactly as I was before. And I began to realize, yes, God has been with me all along, He has been molding me, and my identity is justified in Christ.

Fear is a terrible thing, it destroys you, magnifies small mishaps into massive atrocities, paralyzes. It makes your mind delusionaly fixed on negative things, imprisoned in a world where normal, just simply normal life, is impossible as a far away dream. I allowed fear in because I was pushing God away, believing that my helping others, my praying and dedication could take the place of a relationship with God. That because I was doing that other stuff I didn't need that quiet time with God. I became the only solution to any problem rather than God. And all my hope has always been in Him, so yea, that hope being removed made me self destruct.

Now I'm back together (of course)
So what of art and all this personal stuff?
Remember in all your pursuits to achieve your purpose/heart in life, be it creating art, or helping others, you do not sacrifice time spent strengthening and meditating(being mindful of) your relationship with God. Remembering how much He cares for you every day will diffuse the lies that others may say to you, or you say to yourself. Things like "I'm worthless" or "I'll never be free" or worries about others, "I can't protect him/her" "I can't save them" fall away when you understand that God has formed you with purpose, loves you, and loves your friends with that same love. He is faithful. Jesus plans good things for your life. There's a future that stands longer than any fear. A plan for you that can last perfectly through the most terrible failures and mistakes.
Be encouraged artisticy peoples!

So... anyways. wow that was pretty deep.
I haven't made much art latley, but I have been makin videos! After effects is an amazing program. Over fall break I made an atmospheric song in fruity loops, then i wanted to make it into a video with a picture, and then words as well. I haven't been able to upload it to youtube due to it's weird compression stuff, but I did get it on my facebook. I'm gonna turn the permissions so whoever wants to can view it for awhile.

This is Raivatia, for those who remember reading my journal about it, this is somewhat the pairing of Kvateo, two different forms of joy. Eh its too complicated to explain both of those for now though.
I hope it blesses somebody. heres the link to it (you'll need a facebook account to view it)

[link]

It's just a very large piece of art &, music I made, and used after effects to create some smooth text and scrolling movements as well as make a few other details slightly animated. more or less its art, prose, and music combined.
I'll only leave the permissions up for about 2 weeks, there's some weird people on DA >.>